oh hello $20
$45 and I want a bacon milkshake to go with it!
$50.00 and here we go. It's on!
$56! :P Linda!
$56.01! :p Suzerooni!
$57 - gotta make it interesting Linda
$60 How many days can we bid on this deal? Refuse to pay unless books are accompanied by bacon milkshake.
$61 - I agree bacon milkshakes all around!
$70 and I want a character named Killer Yapp
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$100.00 because that's just too cool.
$110 - I don't stand a chance of winning this, but I wish I did.
$115. But Miss Snark can have the naming of the character...I wanna read a book with Killer Yapp in it.
$120 Such a great auction!
A good cause, bacon AND signed books? We do get bacon, right? Um, do you actually know how to sign your name or is this just a huge leap of faith? I'll risk it.$140.Off to think up outrageous names...
okay not bidding, but seriously whoever wins can they ask for Killer Yapp as the name? please? just for me?or for the children? DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN
Thwarted by higher bids!! Unacceptable.$150
With about a day and change left, I am stunned and humbled and thrilled by the response to my offering. The public has spoken, so in addition to the books and character name, the wining bidder will also receive some kind of non-perishable bacon treat (still deciding what, exactly).But to sweeten the pot a little bit more, I will add a (very) limited edition DAY ONE cap IF the bidding exceeds $200. You can see an example of the magical hat in my profile pic on my Twitter account here: twitter.com/bcmystery
My Dear Miss Snark,WTF? Are you trying to keep me away from Bill Cameron's bacon? Er, books? Underestimate me at your own peril, woman.And good grief. Killer Yapp? Are you all serious? What the hell kind of name is that? I'll tell you what kind. That's the name of a character whose physical description includes words like "unfortunate" and "terrier-like" and "sniveling." The type of character about whom the kindest thing that could possibly be said is that he spent his entire life trying, and failing miserably, to grow into his name. The pitiful type that a writer can't even kill off, as doing so would elicit neither reader sympathy nor the satisfaction of justice served, just a mildly guilty sense of relief.Sheesh. You can't do that to a writer. Besides, what would his agent sa-- never mind.Unless . . . *narrows eyes thoughtfully*Unless Killer Yapp is a woman. Now, that would be a worthy challenge. That would be the type of character that speaks of mystery and strength and danger. One the hero has to either kill or fall in love with. Maybe both.Okay, Cameron, if-- [ahem] WHEN my bid wins, here's the deal: an adult female character named Killer Yapp.And bacon.$175.@BCB_
KJames (if that is indeed your real name),This is war.Calling into question the gender and ferocity of the Yapp that is Killer is, without question, the action of a nitwit.If you were a REAL writer you'd know that *narrows eyes thoughtfully* is all tell, not show.Well, I'm the show stopper, and I'm telling you this: Bacon be damned.I want that hat.$200
Name choice: Killer YappBacon: Yes pleaseBid: $201.50
Miss Snark (if that is indeed your real name),Pffft. This is not war. If this were war there would be dangerous weapons. And I am biting my tongue. Not an easy feat, since I am also LMAO.[Notice I did not write: *wisely bites tongue* Even though blog comments in the midst of strangers often require that sort of thing. Along with smileys. Fourth rule of REAL writers: Know your audience.] I see from her comment that Killer Yapp is a woman of few words. Intriguing character, even before the story begins. Downright fierce, that woman. Can't wait to read the book.Oh, but perhaps you have mistaken her for the lesser known and not at all ferocious Killer Yawp? Pitiful creature. Bless his heart, someone other than Cameron should put him out of his misery. You, Miss Snark, may stop the show AND have the hat. I'd never deprive a fellow writer of his hat. I want the books. And the bacon. Plus, you know, I watched the Nashville video on JT Ellison's blog tonight.$210@BCB_
LMAO - but *I* want the hat and bacon, and I think the book with Killer Yapp in it should also feature said hat and some crispy bacon on its cover. $220
I"m not going to stand idly by while some has-been blogger tries to insert her cigar chomping canine into one of MY fabulous client's books! No sirreee cluegun I'm not.Name to be included: La Slitherina Herself (Barbara Poelle)Bid: $250
Go Snark GO!!!
Hey, who are you calling a has-been blogger? It hasn't been that long since I posted . . . Um, haven't you already read these books, Ms. Reid? Pretty sure that disqualifies you from bidding over here. There's a rumour that items offered on Day 4 will include a lovely bucket of chum and a bottle of that brown swill that tastes like cigarette ashes. Just saying.This is starting to resemble that thing men do when two or more of them congregate anywhere near a brick wall.$260.Hope it's a LOT of bacon. Maybe even a couple eggs.KJames@BCB_(Why has Blogger changed my name to my web address? Sigh. This is why I use WordPress.)
Has-been blogger? I've never been so taken abackin my life. Well, I have I guess, but not recentlyThis auction frenzy is getting out of control and interfering with my cocktail hour.Clearly a statement needs to be made.Bid: $300Name: Mrs. Clooney
Gee, I hope Mrs. Clooney wins. I want to see a book with Killer Yapp.
ROFLMAO! You guys are killing me!But don't let that give you any ideas.Name: KD SNARK ... and her dog Killer Yapp (which I just mistyped Papp)Cheryl Kaye Tardifwww.cherylktardif.com
Oops, sorry, just realized I forgot my bid.$305
*snicker* and Chocolate
Holy guacamole, woman! I'm starting to feel empathy for the publishing types who have to deal with you. Cocktail hour, my ass. This is cutting into my writing time.My final bid: $333 (a nice round number, lots of curves)And IF it's the winner, Mr. Cameron, I'd like to request you send The Hat to Ms. Reid with my compliments. (I suspect it might be ever so slightly bacon-scented, in which case Quincy The Wonder Dog would eat it. Really. Partially digested hats are hell to clean up.) Also, whatever amount of money you might have spent on procuring and shipping bacon-like products, instead please donate it to the Second Harvest Food Bank of Middle TN -- http://www.secondharvestmidtn.org/ -- or some other Nashville organization of your choice. See? I'm even willing to give up bacon for the cause.I would kind of like to have the books, though.As for the name, much as I'd love at this point to make a certain someone read a book with a Killer Yapp character in it, there's really only one choice here: Nash.I briefly considered Nash DeVille, but probably you don't have any dalmatians in your story . . . you don't, do you? No, didn't think so.So. Male or female, good guy or bad. Doesn't matter. Just Nash. A small tribute to a beautiful city and her brave residents who endured an epic disaster and who will somehow find the strength and determination to pull themselves up out of the muck and get on with the business of living. With a little help, and much love, from their friends in the writing community.And if my bid doesn't win (isn't NYC overdue for a power outage?), feel free to use the name anyway. In fact, I think everyone writing a book right now should add a Nash character. I've heard some books actually have more than one person in them. Amazing, the things you learn on the internet.It's been fun playing with you all. ;) Please continue donating. Ahem. On some other item.Back to writing.KJames@BCB_
I yield to the elegance and charm of @BCB_.Her choice of Nash can not, nor should it, be topped.I shall prevail elsewhere.
Well said, Janet.
Oh good grief. Good thing you're not sending the hat, Cameron. It'd never fit at this rate. Thank you for the lovely compliment, Ms Reid. Hmmm. Probably should inform my kids their mother is charming. They'd never believe elegant, but I can work with charming. What a nice Mother's Day present.KJames@BCB_
It will be an honor to name a character for this effort and the city whose need inspired it. Wonderful, thinking, Katherine. I already have someone in mind for Nash.It will also be my pleasure to make a donation to the Second Harvest Food Bank in your name.Thanks so much to everyone who participated. This was both humbling and thrilling. It was a real privilege to be able to participate.
THE BIDDING IS OVER. KDJames is the honorable winner.
Now that was entertaining.
Snappy dialogue, good characterization, moves along briskly... good writing is always entertaining.[Note to self: do not get into a bidding contest with Ms. James.]
As part of this package, this morning I made a donation of $100 to Second Harvest Food Bank Middle Tennessee in honor of Katherine James and Do the Write Thing For Nashville.