author Kimberly Pauley: Signed hardback copies of Sucks to Be Me + Still Sucks to Be Me plus assorted book swag (bookmarks, temporary tattoos, etc.) plus a 30 - 45 minute Skype Video Chat (to talk about writing or Johnny Depp or whatever OR I'll do a presentation to a school or library of your choosing) plus a VERY limited edition Sucks to Be Me hand-etched and hand-painted batty bottle.
IF the winner of the auction happens to live in Illinois or Wisconsin (or wants to visit me in Illinois -- I'll give you a place to stay!), I will make my husband cook you dinner at our house (he's a much better cook than I am). Afraid I can't pay to fly you to the Chicago area, but if you're nearby I'll give you a meal you won't forget... And, of course, we'll have a grand old time talking about everything under the sun.